No one warns you, but being a parent will break your heart. When you least expect it, you'll be alone with your thoughts and suddenly realize how rapidly time is moving. Your baby won't be a baby forever. I know this statement seems rather obvious, but you're not thinking about your boy turning 18, 21, or 30 when you're picking him up off the ground from a show of independence in the middle of the hallway at your condo building. You're firmly in the here and now, as you should be, trying to hustle him to the elevator and to the car. I try to leave early enough so he has time to pick up a rock, step in a puddle, or touch every plant on the way to the car. I love to watch him explore. Some days I can't see past tomorrow. I can't imagine him any bigger than he is in this moment.
Other days I'm thinking about him learning to play an instrument or heading off to school. These things are years away. This is what it's like to be a parent.
Heart bursting joy mixed with wistful nostalgia and anticipation of a (not so?) distant future.
Today, I was teaching Jonas how to freefall onto the bed. With every fall, he would laugh a little harder at me. Before I knew it, he was being the perfect toddler copycat. In the back on my mind, I was filing the moment away, clinging tightly onto it as tightly as I was hugging him to my chest.
We have to grow, we have to age, and we have to keep moving. I'm just trying to do the best I can to make sure I don't take the little things for granted.
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